


Ink

by AllTheF33ls



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Mari and Chloe always get the angst so I decided Alya needed some love too, Alya vent writes when she is overly stressed, Angst, I guess Mari is in it too but just in texts, Nino is a great bf btw can we just take a moment, Sorry Al, Stress, Vent Writing, there is cursing so if you are easily triggered then this is a no no, there is humor tho I promise, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 03:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8516647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTheF33ls/pseuds/AllTheF33ls
Summary: Alya shoved everything in her bag the second the clock struck 12:15pm, not caring that she had crushed the loose papers in it or torn others.She didn’t really care about anything in that moment.She felt numb.She felt like an empty shell.But mainly she felt like she was going to cry.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like the angst in this fandom isn't evenly dispersed amongst the characters, with Adrien, Marinette, and Chloe getting the brunt of it. So yeah, here's Alya's version of a No Good Very Bad Day.

Alya shoved everything in her bag the second the clock struck 12:15pm, not caring that she had crushed the loose papers in it or torn others.

She didn’t really care about anything in that moment.

She felt numb.

She felt like an empty shell.

But mainly she felt like she was going to cry.

Writing came so easily to her, as if it were breathing. She literally breathed onto a piece of paper and wow look: my essay’s done.

But this class –

Writing for _this class –_

Made her feel like an amateur again.

This professor somehow made Alya Césaire feel like an amateur writer again.

What was this, _high-school_?

Alya had never struggled through World History before – in fact, she rather liked Ancient Egypt – but this time she was. The writing got more specific and detail oriented and less about writing skills. She couldn't _finesse_ her way out of a subject she didn’t know enough about by adding high vocabulary words.

And she felt useless.

Her one power ~~other than when she was Lady Wifi~~ was being stripped from her. And so what, she had written some shit articles before, how different was this? But it wasn’t just the writing or the grades – ~~she did well on the tests to make up for the DBQs and LEQs~~ – it was the fact that her professor probably _thought_ she was a bad writer.

Alya

Césaire:

A bad writer.

She would’ve snorted at how ridiculous that was if she didn’t feel like crying.

Crying over one person thinking negatively of how well you did what you loved was idiotic and Alya knew this.

So obviously her sour mood wasn’t just due to that.

~~That wouldn’t be angsty enough now would it?~~

It was everything.

Life was basically being a pain in the ass.

First, college.

~~Need I say more.~~

Next, this asshole of a professor who made her feel like shit.

~~The dick.~~

Also, Chloe was still a bitch.

~~Big surprise there.~~

Nino was being the best supportive boyfriend ever.

~~How is she supposed to top his constant loving texts whenever she gets overly stressed, for real, was Nino _even thinking?_~~

And Adrien and Marinette were still oblivious as hell.

~~Like seriously, not to quote Avril Lavigne here or anything but, CAN I MAKE IT ANY MORE OBVIOUS?~~

Life was being life, so Alya was allowed to be a human being and break down when said life decided to rest not one arm, but their entire fucking body on her shoulders.

She ran out of the lecture hall, through the actual halls, and to her dorm on campus. When she was halfway there, it started to rain, and then it started to throw pitchers of water from the clouds in a constant waterfall.

Basically she was soaked within minutes.

_Why_ hadn’t she brought an umbrella today?

Marinette even had a nice one she kept by her desk!

~~On second thought, maybe not, Marinette is always really protective of that umbrella for some reason.~~

She ran into the door of her building, practically slamming the key-card against the sensor. Alya promptly made a bee-line for the elevator, slamming the _up_ button 5 times.

When she made it to her room, Alya had calmed down a little, but now she was cold from the rain. Why Marinette liked it so much, she’d never understand. She missed the keyhole twice and dropped her keys on the third attempt. Alya groaned and angrily punched the door, bowed her head and lent against it. She swallowed back a sob, took a shaking breath, and picked up the keys off of the cold floor.

Or she would’ve recognized that the floor was cold if she wasn’t already the same temperature.

She all but collapsed into her room, throwing her bag next to her desk with a satisfying **thud**. Alya closed and locked the door, then threw the keys on her desk – the jingle they made sounded farther away than it should’ve.

She slid down the door until she was sitting on the floor – her sopping wet clothes clinging to her body. The dark gray clouds cast a shadow over her dorm, accurately reflecting her mood. Reality began to fade around her, or was that just tears pricking her eyes? She shuddered and shook in her spot, trying to hold back tears that wouldn't go away – not after they had seen an escape.

Escape.

The one way Alya could escape was through writing.

She scrambled across the room, tore open her bag, and rapidly searched for a pen and something to write on that wasn’t wet. Once she found a moderately dry notebook, she turned to a blank page and sat hunched over it.

Alya began to write hastily – she needed to get these ideas out of her head and onto paper.

She needed to escape.

 

_My voice can only be heard through ink --_

_Through words on a page._

_My voice can only be heard through a speaker --_

_Through a pre-recorded message._

_But to those who haven’t read my ink_

_Or heard my pre-recorded messages_

_I am nothing special._

The words may have formed from flicks of pen, but they came from months of pent up self-deprecation.

_I thought my paper would be strong enough,_

_But now people will see its tears._

_I thought my pen was strong enough,_

_But it has broken_

_And spilled its ink all over my flimsy, thin paper --_

_Ink I could’ve used to write more words people would actually hear._

Alya didn’t even flinch when the first crack and boom of thunder resonated through her dorm – she was too lost in her own storm of emotions.

_But the thing is_

_People can close your books_

_Or fold your papers._

_People can turn off their speakers_

_Or pause your pre-recorded messages._

_People can destroy the written word_

_Or the physical copies of spoken ones,_

_But no one can set fire to your verbal words_

_While they’re being spoken._

_Only you can press pause._

Alya smiled sadly as she scribbled a little pause symbol in a circle in-between that stanza and the next.

_But you can delete the written word --_

_Erase it,_

_Cross it out._

_You can destroy physical copies of spoken ones._

_You can take them back._

_You can’t take back verbal words_

_While they’re being spoken._

While the thunder was unable to break her from her trance, the **ping** of her phone did. It was Marinette.

 

**Text from: The Light of My Life (Don’t Tell Nino) at 12:33pm**

**_The Light of My Li...: Hey how was that LEQ in World History you were freaking out over? Did it go well?_ **

**_Me: Eh, it wasn’t my best, but I’ll get over it. I have an assignment in my marketing class that I should get started on for tomorrow, and I have coffee, so it’s all good._ **

**_The Light of My Li...: Okay I’ll leave you to it_ **

**_The Light of My Li...: Wish me luck, my professor is assigning us a group project today. XP_ **

**_Me: Oh, fun. Hope you get Mr. Model in your group~!_ **

**_The Light of My Li...: Alya! We’re in Université now! Can you please stop teasing me like I’m still 15!_ **

**_Me: I’ll stop teasing you like you’re still 15 when you stop acting like it. Now go, you wouldn’t want to continue your late streak into Université too, would you?_ **

**_The Light of My Li...: EEEK IM ALMOST LAYE GTG BYE TXT YUO LATR_ **

**_Me: *Heavy and over dramatic sigh*_ **

****

Was it bad to lie to Mari if she was lying to herself, too?

 

_However pleasing it may seem to have_

_Words that others can't make go up in_

_Flames,_

_The words can be fire themselves_

_And you can burn others_

_And everything around you._

_You can burn yourself._

_And I’ve been living in asbestos my entire life_

_So I use ink._

A drop of water landed on the word “ink”.

A tear.

Alya didn’t bother capping the pen as she tossed it aside, pulling the notebook to her chest. She wrapped herself around it, tucked her chin against it,

And _wailed_.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if LEQs are a part of the French education system or not, but I had one today and it sucked so this happened.
> 
> This is also a practice to see how well I can write a stressed and angsty Alya, because there will be more of it in a new upcoming co-written fanfiction between miraculous_oceaneyes and myself.
> 
> Thank you for reading!  
> Please go check out my other fics! C:


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